As I begin, a feeling of tangible fatigue is setting in. I haven’t been feeling well, and benadryl combined with chamomile tea is doing the trick. But I wanted to get this down, especially on Christmas.
Christmas is a day of rejoicing, of remembering and celebrating that Jesus has come down to Earth and taken a very personal interest in our fate. Today, I thought of Haiti (as I have most days since I returned), and remembered Church last Sunday. The people there were full of hope, and worshipped in a way that made you feel the longing they have for Jesus. Whether he returns, or they die to this world and rise to him, they cannot wait. They groan and sing with anticipation, knowing that they do not have much, and life can be hard, but the promise of Jesus is worth everything. Since I’ve been back, I already feel the pull back towards an Americanized way of living, to consume and purchase, to need more and better things. I felt very blessed with the gifts I received this Christmas, my family was very generous, but I continually remembered how little the people in Haiti have, what gifts they might be exchanging, if any. I have been fighting the feelings of guilt, for having so much and be relatively wealthy. The Lord has blessed me, I have a good lot in life and likely will for the remainder of that life. So, it’s a not a feeling of guilt I should have, but of responsibility to be the hands and feet of God to others. The jarring implications that we are all created and loved equally by God cannot be ignored. For he loved us so much, that he sent his only Son, born in a manger, to teenage parents, raised as a carpenter, and anointed in the desert by a hippie; to save us.